Grandma Guidance 2025
Teach you grandchild to:
Never disrespect your mother or talk back to her—ever. It only makes you look bad, not her. If you're angry, go to her and talk about it. Tell her why you're upset, and if you're not comfortable saying it out loud, write her a letter and leave it somewhere she'll find it. Don’t ignore it. Remind her that she has your support.
When your mother is sick, you do what you can to help her. Make her comfortable—put a blanket on her to show her she’s loved and to keep her warm. Take care of her the best you can, whether it’s bringing a cold cloth for her forehead, a drink, or a snack. It’s always better to ask if she needs anything than to not ask.
When Mother’s Day comes around, buy your mother a card every single year to remind her how much you love her and what she means to you. Mother’s Day is reserved for her—no one else. Any plans you make that day should be for her, and that’s it. It’s her day. Just like her birthday, don’t miss it and don’t ever forget! If you don’t have money for a card, make one. And if you do, buy flowers to go with it.
If anything bad ever happens to you—ever—you have to tell your mom, a teacher, or a friend. No matter what! You have to talk about the bad things when they happen. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Even when your feelings are hurt, you need to tell someone, or the pain will only get worse over time. Ignoring it and pretending it didn’t happen will only hurt you more in the long run. And let her know that she always has you to turn to if she ever needs to.
Always take your dishes to the sink and rinse them after using them. If there are a lot of dishes or your mom looks tired, offer to wash them—or at least help.
Always ask your mom if she needs a hand in the kitchen—especially on holidays when she’s preparing a big meal or before a gathering. Always! She might not need help, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask. She’ll appreciate the offer more than you know.
When you're grown and heading to your mother’s or mother-in-law’s house for dinner, always bring—or at least offer to bring—dessert. And if you can, grab some flowers on the way.
When the house looks messy—crumbs on the floor, jam on the counter, cushions out of place, or an overflowing garbage can—take care of it. Tidy up. It doesn’t have to be perfect; a quick wipe of the counter, straightening the cushions, taking out the garbage—just do it. No questions asked.
If your mom looks tired or worn out, offer her a glass of water.
Surprise your mom with fresh flowers for no reason at all. It’s a nice thing to do; she’ll be pleasantly surprised, and it’ll make her happy.
These ten items may seem like basic values, and they are—basic instructions for basic values. But I wasn’t taught them—and by the looks of things, neither was my mother.
Every grandmother has a sacred duty to teach their granddaughter these values. Pass them down.
By doing so, you’ll create an eternal bond between mothers and daughters for generations to come. Raising children to be empathetic, caring, and respectful adults starts with these values—Grandma’s Guidance.
A lot of people have a mother and a father, and I would think that perhaps the father would normally teach their children how to treat their mother. I don’t know. I do know there are a LOT of people out there with daft, deadbeat dads and/or no dad at all. So, in that case, what happens? Nothing. Nothing happens. The values get skipped or completely lost.
They may sound silly since they should be common sense, but common sense became heavily blurred long before Gen X. These values have disintegrated somewhere along the way and were never properly reinforced.
Teach your granddaughter how to be a good daughter and how to protect herself mentally so she can pass those same values down to her own granddaughter. By doing these ten things, you will be breaking the cycle.
Once you hit grandmahood, you've made it! With that comes a big responsibility, but you've got the wisdom and experience to handle it. You have a unique opportunity with the younger generation to make a real change. You hold the power, and that puts you in a position to truly make a difference, as your grandchild looks to you like no other.
We look around and see kids disrespecting their parents all the time. It's ugly—especially in the mother-daughter dynamic. Parents are left dumbfounded, wondering why their child is acting that way or treating them poorly. The truth is, most of today's children weren't taught basic values—plain and simple.
If you're the kind of grandmother who laughs or snickers when your grandchild mocks or disrespects your daughter, then you’re part of the problem. Correct that behavior—do better.
We live in a time where everyone needs to be taught—from beginning to end. Grandchildren need specific instructions on how to be helpful and kind. Simply telling a child to "be kind" without any guidance won’t work. Telling a child to "be nice" without explaining or showing them what that means—and what actions they should take—is pointless.
I have observed, I have lived, and now I am sharing what I believe is a step in the right direction. In my effort to realign my own bloodline, I will ensure that my granddaughter learns these fundamental values—and that she, in turn, passes them down to her own granddaughter.
The world is not a hopeless place. It just needs generational adjustment, and I'm confident that if all grandmothers reinforce these ten values, it will make a difference for generations to come.
If, for some unfortunate reason, the grandmother is not around, and you, as a great-aunt, have a place in a child’s life—take on that role. If you’re a friend of or close to a single mother—especially one without a mother or this kind of support—don’t just stand by and watch. Step in. Ignorance can no longer be an excuse. It’s a huge issue right now, but it doesn’t have to be.
Those who know better, do better.
Sincerely,
Umbriel’s Grandma
PS
I’m using the term granddaughter because that’s what I have, but these ten values also apply to the grandson.
If this resonates with you, please don’t just scroll on by. Consider forwarding this, saving it, or keeping it in mind. You don’t need to share the entire post—just the ten items.
Feel free to copy the link below, email it, send it in a text, or pass it along via Facebook or Instagram. It could help someone you know— a friend, mother, cousin, sister, daughter, or aunt, especially if they’ve had a turbulent mother-daughter relationship or can relate to my experience.
I think they'd appreciate it—who doesn’t want to make a difference? Whether it resonates or not, at least you'll have done your part by sharing something that is definitely lacking in the world today.
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