Gen X

I grew up in an era, a home where feelings and emotions weren’t acknowledged; they were dismissed. Not valid, and unfortunately, as much as many of us say we don’t want to become our parents—and in many ways, we don’t, but the way you grew up as a kid affects the next generation, your offspring.

Whether you realize something is happening or not, and because you’re focused on trying not to treat your child the way your parents treated you, other things could—and most likely are—going on behind the scenes that you may not even be aware of until later in life.

Everyone wants to 'Break the Cycle,' me included! However, the information and the damage done unfortunately doesn’t show up until later, so therefore, the generation following yours—your children—are 100% affected by your ways.

The way you were brought up, be it good or bad, because there’s shit you realize was wrong right away and then, down the road, you realize some other shit was also wayyyyy wrong—but that’s how you were raised, so you didn’t think anything of it at the time.

That’s because the information that’s available today wasn’t available for the previous generation, my gen, Gen X.

Information, knowledge, and resources are constantly evolving as the generations turn over…

Girls in the 70s weren’t even considered to be tested for ADHD—shit, not even in the 80s! If you were a child whose parents and teachers were always complaining and getting frustrated with you because you couldn’t sit still, cause 'you’ve got ants in your pants,' then you’re probably, like me, have ADHD!

When I was a kid, anxiety was interpreted as being anxious, excited, in a hurry to get to what was to come or to where you were going. Who knew that 30 years later, it’s actually, in some cases, a very serious, debilitating condition—a disorder—and it’s a big fucking deal, and it’s common.

Most people experience anxiety at some point in their lives, some more extreme than others, but I know now, because of the research that has taken place over the years and the information that is now available—and from my own experience—that it is not excitement for what is coming. It’s more like fucking fear, fear of what’s coming next, and it’s a horrible feeling!

And Gen X and the gens yonder just had to suck it up and deal! It’s shit like that—ignorance—that disrupts one’s well-being and nonchalantly passes on to your children—those that know better do better.

Can we blame our parents for how we turned out or how we’ve raised our own kids?

Meh—some do, some don’t—it’s generational! Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it. We come from people who act like it just didn’t happen, but pain demands to be felt.

As a parent, it is your job to take accountability for the things that have taken place in your child’s life once you’re informed and have seen the results of your parenting.

Own that shit! Apologize for it, and in doing so, hopefully you’ll create a platform where forgiveness takes place and y’all can move forward with clean air.

The past is the past—you can’t change what’s already taken place, but you can heal and pass your healing down the line.

That’s the only way to break the cycle. Avoidance won’t and doesn’t work—it does more harm than good.

I am she—I am ready to feel it—all of it! I want nothing more than to break the cycle in my bloodline.

My daughter will never have to worry about her daughter abandoning her in her greatest time of need—I will teach her better. She won’t ever have to wonder if she’ll get flowers on Mother’s Day from her child—she will! Because her daughter will know better than to show up without them. My daughter will not suffer humiliation on social media from her daughter—she will not, because her daughter will know better!

My pain as a mother will turn into my children’s blessings. This shit stops here and now, with me and my granddaughter.