Living My Normal Life
The days went on. I took the curtains down. I was on a cleaning kick! I taped the baseboards and was getting ready to paint. I was still out and about… going to the bar that I used to hang out in… drinking. Sitting outside with the neighbors… drinking. At home alone… drinking!
Captain Jack
That was my normal life before surgery, so I’m living my normal life. I finished painting all the borders in my apartment, the dining room and the living room. I still had the two big red walls to do but I knew that was going to be a big job, so I waited a bit or for as long as I could before they started bugging me. The borders were painted. The curtains were changed. I had a new dinette set and new carpets. I was okay for now.
It wasn’t much longer, with my “couldn’t sit still” self that I had painted the walls.
I went from this…
To this June 20, 2023
Not bad for being in zombie mode eh!
I had flipped my apartment from a dark, angry, bold vibe to calm, peaceful neutrals. It would seem as though a transformation was starting to subconsciously take place, and that ultimately I was creating a safe space for myself.
I was still constantly getting deliveries from Amazon, Big Bag, Gap, Old Navy—wherever. I had something to open or repack every day. It became a thing. I actually now have a shipping station at home. For real!
The daily
The yard was calling me! The good weather was here and I wanted to expand my living space and get out there. I have turf laid down, heavy-duty turf with a thick rubber bottom and a patio sectional sofa set with a canopy over top. Aka the lanai.
As Nobu had been pissing and shitting out there periodically over the winter, it was pretty gross. It was maintained, as in there wasn’t any shit lying around, but it still smelled stinky and gross. I dumped a few big boxes of baking soda on the pissy areas and left it overnight. Broke out the hose the next morning and spent that entire day hosing off the pissy turf. That was enough for one day.
The next day, I dumped the Pine-Sol down. Pine-Sol works as a double-action product: one, it messes with the raccoons' senses (I was in no fucking shape to be fighting raccoons) and two, stink be gone! I spent the rest of that day hosing down the turf with Pine-Sol and wiping down the canopy area and the frame of the sectional with soapy water with a huge ass scrub brush!
And the day following that, I took the cushions out of their bags, I soaped them all up, scrubbed them down with the scrub brush, hosed them all down, dried them all out and finally set up my yard. It was done. I was a happy girl!
Needless to say Nobu was a happy camper too!
I even painted that little bench!
I was on a margarita kick for a stint there also! All I kept thinking about while doing all of that scrubbing was, that’s my prize at the end of all of this. I’m gonna get all the margarita stuff, right down to the lime cordial and sit on my beautiful lanai with Nobu all fresh and sparkling and have myself a frozen margarita! And that’s just what I did!
My Margarita Station!
Frozen Lime Margarita with Tajin Rim…Fuckin’ delish!
I spent the entire summer in a haze, doing all sorts of random shit. I have all kinds of different pictures from when I got out of the hospital. Me, all dressed up, going somewhere, wherever, la de da… taking lots of selfies here and there…la de da! I was out and about right from the get-go. I look at the selfies now and think shit! Like…wow! I did my hair like that?! Cool! I’ve never done my hair like that before. I’m diggin‘ it!
Impressed with myself!
All of this was going down only 8 weeks or so post surgery! I’m supposed to be laid the fuck up, chilling, healing, resting. Not even suppose to be using my arms and I’m doing all of this shit!
It’s like I was on autopilot! I couldn’t stop! I couldn’t fucking sit still any longer than it took to take a selfie!
On my way to a birthday BBQ! Living my normal life! La de da…
The hump on my upper chest was still there, I fucking hated it! After open heart surgery you have a hump. Yup a hump on your chest right below you chin let’s say. Above the boobs and just below the clavicle in the center. It bothered me and it took a long time to go away, the swelling. I can still feel it, it’s not like it was, but it’s there. My wound. Every time I looked at it, it made me feel fucked up.
My chest was taken apart and put back together, it’ll never look or feel the same. So when I saw those dresses at Old Navy, I was happy as fuck! They looked like they were designed just for me!
It’s crazy because that style, the high neck V halter last summer was everywhere! Dresses, bikinis and tops, how fucking perfect! I bought it all…in every color! The design was absolutely perfect for me to hide my hump. That high neck V halter style was my 2023 summer look.
