Redecorating

So I’m living my normal life. Even though I’m in a delirium which nobody seems to even notice or catch on to, all but Nobu. 

Which is wild to me! Even the doctors didn’t notice, and if they did they never mentioned anything to me they just kept telling me to get off the meds asap. The meds being the Hydromorphone and Clonazepam. I’m riding through this whole fucking experience solo dolo! I wasn’t looking to be consoled or even trying to be around anybody.

Back to the shitty carpet situation. The next day I rolled up the area rugs, all 4, two big ones and two runners. I wanted them gone along with the two seater glass dining table set that I was sick of looking at. I messaged two or three people, offered it out there and it was snagged. All gone by the end of the week. No carpets, no dining table.

I’m living my normal life. Started shopping. Big Bag was having an employee sale 90% off sale! Whoo hooo! I was shopping hard! Buying all kinds of new bags, hats, shoes, accessories, shit was getting delivered every day! 

I went on Wayfair looking for a new carpet and found a four piece set that I liked completely different from what I had. They were all neutral tones; brown, beige and cream with a swirl design, they were what I wanted. Got to the check out and was offered to sign up for Flexti, the Wayfair credit card. Suuuure!

The daily routine for awhile was, wake up at 6 am, weigh myself, dose (for the longest time this morning dose was 12 different medications.) I fed Nobu, then prepared a small breakfast and ate what I could. Then, I’d shower and 4 hours later take my hydromorphone again and then take a nap. That nap was the highlight of my day! The nurse was usually in around noon or 1 pm to tend to my wound and I actually enjoyed that part of the day. It was company, company that was caring for me. She made me feel safe and I didn’t know her personally so I didn’t feel embarrassed around her. I felt like I was allowed to be a patient that was recovering from a major trauma. Sometime in June, she had stopped coming. I had medical supplies being delivered once a week and I was maintaining the cleanliness of my wound myself.

Around 2-3 pm I would putter around, look at my yard and every day I thought to myself “is this the day I’m gonna do it?” Hose it down, scrub all the cushions and get it summer ready. That day wasn’t too faraway, but for now I was preoccupied with the inside.

The carpets had arrived and for some reason, I thought that they would still match my deep red and chocolate brown decor. I had dark red blackout curtains and two dark red walls. I took two red curtain panels out and swapped them with brown and it looked like shit. Next thing I know I’m shopping for new curtains and paint, the red had to go!

I ordered a new kitchenette set from either Home Depot or Walmart and it was chocolate brown with a bench and two stools that slid underneath it was practical and stylish. I loved it! But I wasn’t able to assemble it. It was heavy af fuck in the box so I wasn’t even going to attempt it. I called my friend Zoe.

She’s a builder type chick and great at creating and assembling things, that’s her jam and I thought because she likes doing these things maybe she wouldn’t mind putting this together for me. She didn’t mind at all, she came right over and set it up for me. I saw Zoe often throughout my recovery. She saw me and unlike everybody else, she knew I wasn’t me, that something was off and I knew she knew. Zoe is as solid as they come! She knew my partying days were over even before I did.

Zoe